Category: Goofy


When you forgot to stop counting

Yes you can put up counters on your website to show how many more days/hours to go before the event….but Turn them off when its over!

Singapore Media Awards Official Website Screenshot

Advertisements

I recently purchased a Philips 32″ TV to be gifted from Reliance Digital at Ambi Mall in Gurgaon.

While I went on an non-offer day, there was hardly any one who could tell me which is a good LCD to buy and their demo systems could not show Live TV (always buy a LCD tv based on how it shows Live TV and not the recorded DVDs). But anyways after a lot of hide-and-seek I finally found someone who could help me make a purchase while I fiddled with the TV’s my self.

The ordering process was swift and it didn’t take more than 1 min to close the entire billing deal and I was promised that the TV would be delivered to me the following day.

Well the TV arrives well packed and stuff, only to realize that they have sent me the wrong model! The delivery people said – sorry sir we can’t take it back, our job is to deliver – right or not you figure it out with the store.

I’d placed an order for : a Philips 32″ LCD Model Number : 5203 and they delivered me Model Number : 3403.

reliance digital 1 ordered and wrong delivered(Left image is Delivered Product, Right is Ordered Product)

I think manufacturers also now need to start fixing this on their part. There is hardly any noticeable difference between the 2 models, yet the one delivered is 4000 bux cheaper!

See for yourself : Philips Model 3403 Compared with 5203

So I tried reaching the Reliance Digital Ambi Mall on 0124-4029099 and it was busy and has been busy for 5 continuous day! later I tried reaching them on their ResQ services on 0124-4472222, and that too no one answers.

Luckily the delivery people left me with the number of the back-end supply manager, I called him up only to realise that he has sent the right model as per his details.

I went back to Reliance Digital at Ambi Mall that very day and file a report with their ResQ division. First the guy was like, how can this be possible. Then I showed him the picture of the delivered model. He couldn’t do much and he was stumped! He called up the Depot and check with the Supply Manager, and he again said that he has sent the right model. Nevertheless, he just took my complaint down and said he’ll call me back in the evening – which hasn’t happened. And, further he passed the buck and said, please be in touch with the supply manager as he only can update you with the details!

Apparently, their SKU Management system has tagged this model against the SKU mentioned in my invoice! Now Beat That! (See the BAR CODE closely on the image on the left above and compare that to the one in the bill and you would know what i mean.)

It’s been 4 days since I’ve been chasing Mr. Anil Yadav (0999602xxxx), and he’s been confused ever since. Promises me that he will call back in 5 mins and never does, tells me that he’s trying to find the model and so far he hasn’t – maybe Indiana Jones can help him find this model. I mean it’s 4 days and you can’t find the model! “Sir, me laga hua hoon aapke case per, mujhe paanch min do”. – arghr ! tht’s bullshit!

And, no one tells the truth!

And, today his number is going busy – i think he’s trying to participate in Kaun Banega Crorepati or something.

I am in utter disgust with their level of after sales support & ignorance. I think Reliance should just go back to mining oil and whatever their original business is and get out of customer business they are not in capacity to manage it. I am glad they took all Subhiksha out of business.

So, next time you go to Reliance Digital – make sure you doing the right thing! and I shall try again to reach Mr. Yadav!

I know the event has not even started as yet, but I was curious to know about the registration status of my mother under the senior citizens category.

The registration would mention that you can track the status of your application online, but if you go to the site, which is http://adhm.indiatimes.com you can’t find any link which says track your registration!!! rather it will still let you register online despite the fact that the registrations are now closed!

So, I decided to write to them quoting the registration details, etc. but it’s been a while since they have not replied so far either.

Then, I saw a phone number on their site – 550000 (http://adhm.indiatimes.com/articleshow/3462535.cms) and decided to call them up. And, guess what – they are still running “Panchvi Pass IVR” and there is no mention about “Delhi Half Marathon”, the woman kept on repeating “Maaf kijiye me samjhi nahi” and that was the same expression I had on myself! I mean WTF!!! this is the marathon helpline, put the right IVR on the phone!

Now I am really worried the way this marathon is being managed and I am also sure lot of registrations would have happened online!

This surely is a poor show on Procam, Airtel & Indiatimes part.

PLEASE FIX THE ERROR!!!

I couldn’t help posting this. But I recently was at the Honda Car India website checking out their latest hybrid engine offering. The car is really impressive with the technology that it’s using : http://www.hondacarindia.com/civicHybrid/default.html

But click on the link to view the “Hybrid Engine Video” and you’ll notice this:

Yes, the video can magically playback audio from the microphone! Sorry, but I couldn’t help posting this post like their technical error.

Hope they change it soon!!!!

How many marketers in India have seriously read the book “The Long Tail“? I’ll say 0.5 out of 10 marketers I’ve met. And, how many marketers heard about “the long tail” = 10/10!!!

This post again evolves out of a discussion with my friend Mohak, who now works with an emerging travel portal. And, I’ve been constantly been battered by many clients on, “we need to be on the long tail”!!!

Here’s a description of The Long Tail from Wikipedia:

Anderson argued that products that are in low demand or have low sales volume can collectively make up a market share that rivals or exceeds the relatively few current bestsellers and blockbusters, if the store or distribution channel is large enough. Anderson cites earlier research by Erik Brynjolfsson, Yu (Jeffrey) Hu, and Michael D. Smith, who first used a log-linear curve on an XY graph to describe the relationship between Amazon sales and Amazon sales ranking and found a large proportion of Amazon.com’s book sales come from obscure books that are not available in brick-and-mortar stores. The Long Tail is a potential market and, as the examples illustrate, the distribution and sales channel opportunities created by the Internet often enable businesses to tap into that market successfully.

ok, still don’t get it, read the original post on the long tail here.

Hello !!! “the long tail” is not about having 80,000 keywords in your search marketing campaign. But a combination of web analytics, traffic analysis, your search engine orientation, and the other smaller players on the web.

And, search contextual marketing is not long tail!!!

Many web-owners in India do not use their “web logs” or put to use popular web analytics. These tools forms the basis of data mining & looking at data which is driving traffic to your website, whether it is keywords people are searching for on the Internet or websites which are hosting your ads or websites/blogs talking about you. If you are a portal or a large website – this is basic hygeine. Here’s a good example of how “Weather.Com” put to use web analytics to drive their SEO efforts.

For Microsites or Web sites which are seasonal, don’t even bother to get into the long tail.

So, how do I benefit from “The Long Tail”

1. Start by collecting data driving traffic to your website.
2. Identify key offline trends which effect your traffic on your website.
3. Collect data for long time duration, give it atleast 6 months to settle in.

Once, you have all of the above put together, hire a data analysis company which specializes in web analytics. And, then you start working on your long tail.

But, I still want 80,000 keywords in my search campaign

No problem, here’s what you need to do:

1. Identify contexts in which your product/service fits the bill. Contextual marketing is relative & attempts to deliver the marketer’s message in a given context. So, it’s important to understand the importance of it.
2. Go back to your search marketing team/agency and help them understand your world of ‘context’, where you think your product/service will get the best results.
3. Don’t expect high & immediate sales from traffic coming from this approach. Collate data and work closely on those which are driving your “business results”.

I hope this will help clear some mess on the misconceptions of the long tail!

Microsoft Voice Re(err)cognition

A good friend of mine shared this video link with me, I needn’t say much about this one.

Watch the Video Here!

Ebay, Ebay, Everywhere

When it comes to Adwords, Google preaches that you should have keywords which are relevant to your website and have ads which are relevant to the keywords (adgroups). It is also advised to use the keyword filter in the ad’s with care. However, Ebay has gone miles ahead of what has been advised and be present of every keyword in the dictionary, every product/service/brand name!

Ebay (baby ad)

Try searching for “baby” on  google and see the ad which appears on the sponsered links on the right and read the Ebay ad!!!

SEM, should not be done in extream!

Things have become so funny that people have made games around, FIND FUNNY EBAY ADS! – Ebads! (you can play it too)

So, if you get into SEM…please watch your keywords and please write ad copies which make sense, please 🙂

When CRM Goes Against You!

Ok, a lot of my friends refer to me for on going business-technology trends and how to adapt them. I was one of the initial believer that technology and marketing can work hand-in-hand and do wonders for the marketing manager. However, there are times when things can go extreamly – funny.

Yes, I am serious about this event. We took a car loan from a leading financial services some 2 years back and paid off our dues on time. Now, the system recognised our disciplined repayments and decided to generate an print-auto-mailer signed by the Chief Marketing Officer, allowing my mom to take additional loan.

However, the 3rd para reads “now with this pre-approved loan, you can take your wife and kids to that dream holiday” !!!

Ok, can any one explain to me, a letter addressed to my mother is asking her to take wife and kids along to where!!!

This is where things go wrong, when as business’s we adapt technology blindly and show that 2% discounts/savings to our top boss’s in implementing it, and earn our brownie points.

It didn’t end here. A week down the line, we get a call from the Customer Executive, saying that your emi’s have bounced and you have a penalty to pay or else we won’t give you the NOC document. Sigh, I had to tell the lady to check her CRM system, sent them the relevant documents and had things moving using the carrot and stick approach – give me an NOC and I’ll consider taking another loan from you. I don’t think I’ll ever go back to this bank, and many won’t after such an experience.

There is no one to be blamed for this error, but your blind-tech-savviness costed you a customer.

Check, if your chief marketing officer is signing letters blindly!